Sunday, January 31, 2016

Writing Out Loud - the Dance with Fear, Shame and Showing Up

I have a long complicated relationship with writing.  You see, I want to do it, I love to do it - but I'm really terrible at it.  I mean, I've written a whole lot of stuff.  It just never hits home, you know?  One day, I'll write something that is meaningful and people will love it and I'll be adored and then I will be a real writer.

Last week, when I said something out loud to my partner about writing a story I'm writing and about how hard it is to write and how much I really wish I were a writer, I was taken aback when my partner responds something to the effect of "What do you mean you're not a writer... you've had how many blogs?"  On the outside, I said "Well yeah.. but I'm not a writer, really." and on the inside, I said, "Because, those blogs, I never considered 'writing', per say.  I'm not a writer.  I'm an impostor.    Writers say important things!  I'm just... playing around with a blog, pretending to be one. Like a child baking a cake with a toy stove, with the futility of a goldfish circling the bowl".

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Have Tos and Want Tos as a Life Philosophy

I am the kind of person that makes lists, has budgets, keeps running tallies, tracks data and plans projects for everything in my life.  That's a person type, right?  A few years ago, I got kind of frustrated with the number of lists, budget line items etc I had and came to the conclusion I needed to simplify it.

From that simplification, was born have-tos and want-tos.  Two categories for all the things.  "Have tos" are the things that have to get done whether we like it or not... things like paying bills, making food, cleaning, going to work.  "Want tos" are the things that power our selves - the things that light and maintain our passions.  They are things like crafting, making that meal a gourmet meal, gardening and other things that we could survive without but without which, we would survive in a bleak and pointless existence.